Lyrics:

[narrator]
the Legend You Are About To Hear Is True
only The Needle Should Be Changed To Protect The Record

[st. George]
this Is The Countryside
my Name Is St George
i'm A Knight

saturday, July 10th, 805 Pm
i Was Working Out Of The Castle On The Nightwatch
when A Call Came In From The Chief
a Dragon Had Been Devouring Maidens
homicide
my Job, Slay Him

[st. George]
you Call Me, Chief

[chief]
yes, The Dragon Again, Devouring Maidens
the King's Daughter May Be Next

[st. George]
mmm-Hmm
you Got A Lead

[chief]
oh, Nothing Much To Go On
say, Did You Take That .45 Automatic
into The Lab To Have Them Check On It

[st. George]
yeah, You Were Right

[chief]
i Was Right

[st. George]
yeah, It Was A Gun

822 Pm, I Talked To One Of The Maidens
who Had Almost Been Devoured

[st. George]
could I Talk To You, Ma'am

[maiden]
who Are You

[st. George]
i'm St. George, Ma'am
homicide, Ma'am
want To Ask You A Few Questions, Ma'am
i Understand You Were Almost Devoured By The Dragon, Ma'am
is That Right, Dragon

[maiden]
it Was Terrible
he Breathed Fire On Me
he Burned Me Already

[st. George]
how Can I Be Sure Of That, Ma'am

[maiden]
believe Me
i Got It Straight From The Dragon's Mouth

[st. George]
1145 Pm
i Rode Over The King's Highway
i Saw A Man
stopped To Talk To Him
pardon Me, Sir
could I Talk To You For Just A Minute, Sir

[knave]
sure, I Don't Mind

[st. George]
what Do You Do For A Living

[knave]
i'm A Knave

[st. George]
didn't I Pick You Up On A 903 Last Year For Stealing Tarts

[knave]
yeah, So What
do You Wanna Make A Federal Case Out Of It

[st. George]
no, Sir
we Heard There Was A Dragon Operating In This Neighborhood
we Just Want To Know If You've Seen Him

[knave]
sure, I've Seen Him

[st. George]
mmm-Hmm
could You Describe Him For Me

[knave]
what's To Describe
you See One Dragon, You Seen 'em All

[st. George]
would You Try To Remember, Sir
just For The Record
we Just Want To Get The Facts, Sir

[knave]
well, He Was, You Know, He Had Orange Polka Dots...

[st. George]
yes, Sir

[knave]
purple Feet, Breathing Fire And Smoke...

[st. George]
mmm-Hmm

[knave]
and One Big Bloodshot Eye
right In The Middle Of His Forehead And
uh, Like That

[st. George]
notice Anything Unusual About Him

[knave]
no, He's Just Your Run-Of-The-Mill Dragon, You Know

[st. George]
mmm-Hmm
yes, Sir
you Can Go Now

[knave]
hey, By The Way, How You Gonna Catch Him

[st. George]
i Thought You'd Never Ask
a Dragonet

305 Pm
i Was Riding Back Into The Courtyard
to Make My Report To The Lab
then It Happened
it Was The Dragon

[dragon]
hey, I'm The Fire-Breathin' Dragon
you Must Be St George, Right

[st. George]
yes, Sir

[dragon]
i Can See You Got One Of Them New .45 Caliber Swords

[st. George]
that's About The Size Of It

[dragon]
ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha
you Slay Me

[st. George]
that's What I Wanted To Talk To You About

[dragon]
what Do You Mean

[st. George]
i'm Taking You In On A 502
you Figure It Out

[dragon]
what's The Charge

[st. George]
devouring Maidens Out Of Season

[dragon]
out Of Season
you'll Never Pin That Rap On Me
do You Hear Me, Cop

[st. George]
yeah, I Hear You
i Got You On A 412 Too

[dragon]
a 412
what's A 412

[st. George]
over-Acting. Let's Go

[narrator]
on September The 5th, The Dragon Was Tried And Convicted
his Fire Was Put Out And His Maiden-Devouring License Revoked
maiden Devouring Out Of Season Is Punishable
by A Term Of Not Less Than 50 Or More Than 300 Years