Lyrics:

At the koc local 313

Theres a fat man standing by the soda machine

And he knows, he knows, he knows

Life can be funny



He calls the hair salon says put loretta on

Cause the mall just called and said the last guys gone

And I know, I know, God knows

We need the money



And hes a big red cherry

But its hard to be merry

When the kids are all laughing

Saying hey its jerry garcia

Aint he cute?

The man in the santa suit



And all the moms in town bring their brats around

And they cant sit still or keep their rootbeer down

Now its up, hey how bout that

It looks like a milkshake



Now jimmys grown this year says mommy quick come here

Santas sweaty and he smells like beer

And he says, kid shut your mouth

You give me a headache



And hes jolly and hairy

But its hard to be merry

When the guys at the bar

Say he looks like a fairy

But hes doing it just for the loot

The man in the santa suit



[break] verse x2



And hes a big red cherry

Hes jolly and hairy

Everyones laughing, but he doesnt care

He stays cool

Aint he cute?

The man in the santa suit



[fade out with intro]