Lyrics:

Mother doesn't go out anymore
Just sits at home and rolls her spastic eyes
But every weekend through the door
Come words of wisdom from the world outside
If you want to know about the bishop and the actress
If you want to know how to be a star
If you want to know 'bout the stains on the mattress

You can read it in the Sunday papers
Sunday papers

Mother's wheelchair stays out in the hall
Why should she go out when the TV's on?
Whatever moves beyond these walls
She'll know the facts when Sunday comes along
If you want to know about the mad punk rockers
If you want to know how to play guitar
If you want to know about any other suckers

You can read it in the Sunday papers
Read it in the Sunday papers

(Sunday papers) Don't ask no questions
(Sunday papers) Don't get no lies
(Sunday papers) Don't raise objections
(Sunday papers) Ain't got no eyes

Brother's heading that way now, I guess
He just read something, made his face turn blue
Well, I got nothing against the press
They wouldn't print it if it wasn't true
If you want to know about the gay politician (Oh yeah)
If you want to know how to drive your car
If you want to know about the new sex position

You can read it in the Sunday papers
Read it in the Sunday papers

(Sunday papers) Don't ask no questions
(Sunday papers) Don't get no lies
(Sunday papers) Don't raise objections
(Sunday papers) Ain't got no eyes
(Sunday papers) Don't ask no questions
(Sunday papers) Don't get no lies
(Sunday papers) Don't raise objections
(Sunday papers) Ain't got no eyes

Read all about it, Sunday papers
Read all about it, Sunday papers
Read all about it, Sunday papers
Read all about it, Sunday papers
Read all about it, Sunday papers
Get your Sunday paper, get your Sunday paper, get your
Read all about it, Sunday papers
Get your Sunday paper, get your Sunday paper, get your
Read all about it, Sunday papers
Read all about it, Sunday papers