Lyrics:

Well, like I explained to y'all before I ain't no drinkin' man
I tried it once and it got me highly irregular and I swore I'd never do it again
But I promised my brother-in-law that I'd go up and watch his still
While he went into town to vote

It was up there on the mountain where the map said it would be
Friends let me tell you one thing though, it wadn't no ordinary still
It stood up that mountainside like, like a huge golden opal

God's yellar moon was a' shinin' on the cool clear evenin'
God's little lanterns just a' twinklin' on and off in the heavens and
Like I explained to you once before, I ain't no drinkin' man
But, temptation got the best of me, and I took a slash (wshew!... woah...)
That yellar whiskey runnin' down my throat like honeydew vine water, and I took another slash
Took another and another and another
'Fore you knew it I'd downed one whole jug o' that shit and commenced to get hot flashes

Goosepimples was runnin' up and down my body and a feelin' came over me like
Somethin' I'd never experienced before
It's like, like I was in love
('Why don't we have a little love Mike')

In love for the first time, with anything that moved
Animate, in-animate it didn't matter
It's like there's a great neon sign flashin' on and off in my brain sayin'
'Jimmy Buffett there' a great day a comin', 'cause I was drunk

Now I wadn't, uh, knee-crawlin', slip-slidin'
Reggy-youngin', commode-huggin' drunk
I was God's own drunk and a fearless man
And that's when I first saw the bear

He was a Kodiak lookin' fella 'bout 19 feet tall
He rambled up over the hill 'spectin' me to do one of two things
Flip or fly, I didn't do either one, it hung him up
He starts sniffin' 'round my body tryin' to smell fear
But he ain't gonna smell no fear, 'cause I'm God's own drunk and a fearless man
It hung him up
He looked me right in my eyes and my eyes was a lot redder than his was
It hung him up

So I approached him and I said, 'Mr. Bear, I love every hair on your 27 acre body
I know you got a lotta friends over there on the other side of the hill
There's ole' Rear Bear, Tall Bear, Freddy Bear, Kelly Jair, Relly Bear
Smelly the Bear, Smokey the Bear, Pokey the Bear
I want you to go back over there tonight and tell 'em I'm feelin' right
You tell 'em I love each and every one of 'em like a brother and a sister
But if they give me any trouble tonight
I'm gonna run every Goddamned one of 'em off the hill'

He took two steps backwards and didn't know what to think
Neither did I, but, being charitable and cautious, well hell, I approached him again
I said, 'Mr. Bear, you know in the eyes of the Lord
We're both beasts when it comes right down to it
So I want you to be my buddy, 'Buddy Bear'
So I took ole' Buddy Bear by his island sized paw and I led him over to the still
Now he's a' sniffin' around that thing 'cause he's smellin' somethin' good
I gave him one of them jugs of honeydew vine water, he downed it upright
Looked like one of them damn bears in the circus sippin' sasparilly in the moonlight
I gave him another and another and another 'fore I knew it
He'd downed eight of 'em and commenced to do the 'bear dance'
Two sniffs, a snort, a fly, a turn and a grunt
And it was so simple like the jitterbug it plumb evaded me

And we worked ourselves into a tumultuous uproar and I's awful tired
Went over to the hillside, and I laid down, went to sleep
Slept for four hours, and dreamt me some tremulous dreams
And when I woke up, Oh, there was God's yellar moon a' shinin' on the clear cool evenin'
And God's little lanterns just a' twinklin' on and off in the heavens
And my buddy the bear was a' missin'
Yeah, you want to know somethin' else friends and neighbors, so was that still

That's a take
Wait, could uh, you missed it?