Lyrics:

They call me Robert Petrie and I live in New Rochelle With my wife Laura and son Ritchie But now my life's a living hell cause... I tripped over the ottoman One too many times I tripped over the ottoman Until I lost my mind I was head writer for Alan Brady Maybe you've seen his show It's not very funny and it makes my ears bleed This week's guest star isn't Danny Thomas This week's guest star is Death! All day long I crank out one-liners With Buddy, Sal and Mel Once I laughed at Buddy's jokes But now my life's a living hell cause... I tripped over the ottoman One too many times I tripped over the ottoman Until I lost my mind Morey Amsterdam can make a sane man crazy Morey Amsterdam could make a nice guy kill (x2) and... I tripped over the ottoman One too many times I tripped over the ottoman Until I lost my mind Come here Laura; come to me I've been up all night listening to Ice-T albums Now it's time for you to get yours Hello Mel! This is my friend, Mr. Chain Saw! Hello Buddy! It's time you die, like the pig you are In the gutter, gasping for air This is a hand grenade, Sal A hand grenade! Ya know what a hand grenade does? It EXPLODES! What did you bring me daddy? (x3) Well, I brought you death! Joe: All right! 6 [untitled] Take it, boys. Yeah, my sister's really movin' up in the world. She dates a full-blown professor! Goes by the name of Professor Griff. He's a great guy; he's a good ol' boy, that wild ol' Professor Griff. I think he's a history professor. The other day, he told me t