Lyrics:

Alright, dig it

Cold coolin' at a bar
And I'm lookin for some action
But like Mick Jagger said
I can't get no satisfaction
The girls are all around
But none of them wanna get with me
My threads are fresh and I'm lookin' def
Yo, what's up with L-O-C?
The girls is all jockin'
At the other end of the bar
Havin drinks with some no-name chump
When they know that I'm the star
So I got up and strolled over
To the other side of the cantina
I asked the guy, 'Why you so fly?'
He said, 'Funky Cold Medina'
Funky Cold Medina

This brother told me a secret
On how to get more chicks
Put a little Medina in your glass
And the girls'll come real quick
It's better than any alcohol
Or aphrodisiac
A couple of sips of this love potion
And she'll be on your lap
So I gave some to my dog
When he began to beg
Then he licked his bowl and he looked at me
And did the wild thing on my leg
He used to scratch and bite me
Before he was much, much meaner
But now all the poodles run to my house
For the Funky Cold Medina
You know what I'm sayin'?
I got every dog in my neighborhood breakin' down my door
I got Spuds MacKenzie
Alex from Stroh's
They won't leave my dog alone with that Medina, pal

I went up to this girl
She said, 'Hi, my name is Sheena'
I thought she'd be good to go
With a little Funky Cold Medina
She said, 'I'd like a drink,'
I said, 'Ehm, I'll go get it'
And then a couple sips she cold licked her lips
And I knew that she was with it
So I took her to my crib
And everything went well as planned
But when she got undressed, it was a big old mess
Sheena was a man
So I threw him out, I don't fool around
With no Oscar Mayer wiener
You must be sure that your girl is pure
For the Funky Cold Medina
You know?
Ain't no plans with a man
This is the 80s, and you know I'm down with the ladies
No joke

Break it down

Back in the saddle
Lookin' for a little affection
I took a shot as a contestant on
'The Love Connection'
The audience voted
And you know they picked a winner
I took my date to the Hilton
For Medina and some dinner
We had a few drinks
I'm thinkin' soon what I'll be gettin'
Instead she started talkin' 'bout
Plans for our wedding
Said 'Wait. Slow down love, not so fast
Baby, I'll be seein' ya'
That's why I found you don't fool around
With the Funky Cold Medina
You know what I'm sayin'?
That Medina's a monster
Funky Cold Medina