Lyrics:

Play fair Delilah
Though I like you and you're pretty
There's a thousand pounds of weight
I'm lifting right now and you're sitting on my shoes
Most girls ain't quite as light as you
But it's very rude

Play fair Delilah
Though you're really quite persistent
It's not fair how you get on me
'Cause I'm strong without nutrition or exercise
Didn't you employ some private eyes
To find out why

Oh, what you do to me
Oh, it's much too cruel to me
Oh, what you do to me
Oh, it's worse than UFC, and WWE

Play fair Delilah
I know I'm not sweatin' hard
But, girl, you really shouldn't send in guys to do mixed martial arts
When I'm in bed
We'll have to fight until they're dead
And my wardrobe's wrecked

Play fair Delilah
You've got steroid allegations
Though I'm simply strong you wrote that I was taking HGH
And I am not -- even though I love to read your blog
Girl, that was wrong
A thousand pounds seems pretty hard
But I ain't got veins that strain my arms
It bothers you that I have some other way
Your friends they always cause a fuss
But I just laugh and whomp their butts
You know that none of them have felt such pain
Delilah, I can promise you
The Bible will reveal the truth
But, girl, you'll never ever read a page
'Cause you're New Age

Play fair Delilah
Just be good and don't you dis me
No more tears or I'll be done with you
And I'll remain a mystery with no clue
You'll need a dog like Scooby Doo
You can be as clever as you want to
Hey, where did I leave my shampoo
That's one for you

Oh, what you do to me
Oh, it's much too cruel to me
Oh, what you do to me
Oh, it's worse than UFC -- it's like watchin' Halo 3

With such nagging she prodded him day after day until he was tired to death