Lyrics:

[Verse 1]
Now old jolly Jack was a hardworkin' chap
And he longed for a chance to be free
Stuck a pin in the map as it lay on his lap
And he stuck it in gay Paris
It were quite by chance that he heard of France
'Cause he'd never been away before
He was straight off the boat, with his ten-bob note
When his heart fell through the floor

[Chorus]
Oh, I'll never get a scrumpy here
No, I'll never get a nice mild beer
Give me England every time, my dear
'Cause you never get surprises livin' in Devizes
However hard I bloomin' try
Seems I'll never get a hot meat pie
In old Somerset's where I'll lie
When I die

[Verse 2]
Well he made his way, in complete dismay
Where the lights were shining bright
And standing there was a girl so fair
And she asked him for a light
Put his hand in his pocket, and it felt like a rocket
It was growing in his hand like a flame
So he pulled it out and she gave a shout
'Et vous chicken?' 'No, I'm game!'

[Chorus]
Oh, I'll never get a scrumpy here
No, I'll never get a nice mild beer
Give me England every time, my dear
'Cause you never get surprises livin' in Devizes
However hard I bloomin' try
Seems I'll never get a hot meat pie
In old Somerset's where I'll lie
When I die

Oh, I'll never get a scrumpy here
No, I'll never get a nice mild beer
Give me England every time, my dear
'Cause you never get surprises livin' in Devizes
However hard I bloomin' try
Seems I'll never get a hot meat pie
In old Somerset's where I'll lie
When I die

Oh, I'll never get a scrumpy here
No, I'll never get a nice mild beer
Give me England every time, my dear
'Cause you never get surprises livin' in Devizes