Lyrics:

A Fine Romance With No Kisses
a Fine Romance, My Friend, This Is
we Should Be Like A Couple Of Hot Tomatoes (To-Mah-Toes, Dear)
but You're As Cold As Yesterday's Mashed Po-Tah-Toes (Potatoes)

a Fine Romance, You Won't Nestle
a Fine Romance, You Won't Even Wrestle
you've Never Mussed The Crease In My Blue Serge Pants
you Never Take A Chance, This Is A Fine Romance

a Fine Romance, My Good Fellow
you Take Romance, I'll Take Jello
you're Calmer Than The Seals In The Arctic Ocean
at Least They Flap Their Fins To Express Emotion

a Fine Romance, My Dear Duchess
two Old Fogies, We Really Need Crutches
you're Just As Hard To Land As The Ile De France! (Fronce)
i Haven't Got A Chonce (Chance), This Is A Fine Romance

a Fine Romance, My Good Woman
my Strong, Aged-In-The-Wood Woman
you Never Give Those Orchids I Send A Glance
they're Just Like Cactus Plants, (Oh Boy)
this Is A Fine Romance!