Lyrics:

Locking doors
Spotless pores
Finding comfort in a total bore
The number four
Genealogical lore
Nothing feels good unless I've felt it before

The neighbor's gay
Shouldn't be that way
Gonna treat him like a person but not today
When I'm old and grey and he's dying of AIDS
Gonna stop by his bed to remind him to pray

Melvin is locking doors
He makes everything a chore
And he don't really care no more
Melvin is locking doors

Nervous when my little woman friend makes me kinda wanna be a man again
Don't want to bend
Better to offend
But I get pissed when she looks at other men

Melvin is locking doors
And he makes everything a chore
And he don't really care

Locking doors
Salting sores
When one wimp winces we'll win this war
Show me some gore
Man I'm so hardcore
It doesn't feel good unless I've felt it be
Nothing feels good unless I've felt it before

Melvin is locking doors