Lyrics:

Now in our family we've got an heirloom
They handed it to me a year ago
It's been in our possession since Grandad was a lad
I'll tell you what it is and then you'll know
It's my Grandad's Flannelette nightshirt

In it I was christened one day
Down at the church they were in a whirl
No one seemed to know if I were boy or girl
They'd had one or two and ee they were in mess
But it's all right said the preacher rather curt
I've been and had a quiz and I've found out what it is
By his Grandad's Flannelette shirt, lordy lordy
His Grandad's Flannelette shirt

In my Grandad's Flannelette nightshirt
I got married one day
In the train my bride gave a shout
'Ee what is that you are pulling out?'
I said, 'It's old fashioned and it's tattered and torn
But I've brought it honeymooning with me Gert'
When she said, 'What is it dear?' I whispered in her ear
'It's my Grandad's Flannelette shirt, lordy lordy
My Grandad's Flannelette shirt'

The other day I got an invitation to go and join a nudist colony
And as the life is healthy and in the open air I trotted off as happy as can be
With my Grandad's Flannelette nightshirt I walked up to the door
Someone said, 'Now don't make a fuss, just take off your clothes and you'll be like us'
I was bashful so I stayed by myself, for with the girls I didn't want to flirt
But when I fell asleep they all came and had a peep
At my Grandad's Flannelette shirt lordy lordy
My Grandad's Flannelette shirt

In eighteen ten grandfather joined the army to fight Napoleon across the sea
You've heard about the battle they had at Waterloo, but what was it that brought us victory
Why my Grandad's Flannelette nightshirt it saved old England that day
Bonaparte said 'We are undone' even Josephine put her gasmask on
He shot down our colours and captured our flag, but we are not downhearted it's a cert
For flying in the gale everyone could see the tail
Of my Grandad's Flannelette shirt lordy lordy
My Grandad's Flannelette shirt