Lyrics:

If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a house (I would buy you a house)
If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you furniture for your house (Maybe a nice Chesterfield or an ottoman)
If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a K-Car (A nice Reliant automobile)
If I had a million dollars, I'd buy your love

(If I had a million dollars) I'd build a tree fort in our yard
(If I had a million dollars) You could help, it wouldn't be that hard
(If I had a million dollars) Maybe we could put a little tiny fridge somewhere

We could just go up and hang out
Open the fridge and stuff
And there would be all kinds of food laid out for us
Pre-wrapped sausages and things, mmm
They have pre-wrapped sausages but they don't have bacon
Can you blame 'em?

If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a fur a coat (But not a real fur coat, I know that's cruel)
If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you an exotic pet (Like a llama or an emu)
If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you John Merrick's remains (Oh, all those crazy elephant bones)
If I had a million dollars, I'd buy your love

(If I had a million dollars) We wouldn't have to walk to the store
(If I had a million dollars) We'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more
(If I had a million dollars) We wouldn't have to eat Kraft dinners

But we would still eat Kraft dinners
Well, of course we would, we'd just eat more
We'd buy fancy ketchups, like Dijon ketchup
Yeah, mmm, yeah, ha ha

If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you a green dress (But not a real green dress, that's cruel)
If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you some art (A Picasso or a Garfunkel)
If I had a million dollars (If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a monkey (Haven't you always wanted a monkey?)
If I had a million dollars, I'd buy your love

(If I had a million dollars) If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars) If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd be rich