Lyrics:

Oh isn't this a lovely band, and what a thrill to have them play with me! And now, a little duet for you!
There's a fellow following me
I'm the fellow following you
I will follow you 'till the day is through
I wonder what you would do
If I stopped and said 'How do you do?' like other girls do
I think I'd die with delight
I want to call and love you tonight
In the parlor?
No
In a hammock?
No
Then for goodness' sake, where will we go?
Out on the old front porch
Well, hold me, Charlie!

On the old front porch
Now, stop!
I was only trying to steal a little kiss
Well, kisses do invite me, but please don't hug so tightly
On the old front porch
Now, don't get angry, on the old front porch
Now, stop!
Everything is lovely when you're cuddled near me, dear
Look out, here come my father, and he'll surely scold, I fear
Will that young man go home tonight or have his breakfast here?
On the old front porch!
Just call back some other night
I'll see that Pa's out of sight
Wait until it's dark
Then you can be
Cuddled right on my knee

So that we can do lots of nice things
And no one can see
And if your dreadful old pa
Should come out and give me a jar
You must understand
If it's dark, that's grand!
Cause the kick he aims
Will never land!
Out on the old front porch
Well, hold me, Charlie!
(deeper voice)
On the old front porch
Now, stop!
I was only trying to steal a little kiss
Well, kisses do invite me, but gee, you tried to bite me!
On the old front porch
Now, don't get angry, on the old front porch

Please, don't!
Everything is lovely when you're cuddled near me, dear
Look out, here come my father, and he'll surely scold, I fear
Will that young man go home tonight or have his breakfast here?
On the old front porch!