Lyrics:

Oh..
You can tell a dirty story
In the old conservatory...

But don't go in the basement!

You can make a scene
On the mezanene

But don't go in the basement!

You can fill yourself with static
With the ghosts up in the attic

But don't go in the basement!

You can light yourself a torch
On the old front porch

But don't go in the basement!

Oh you may think that it's real cool
To ride down the bannister like some darn fool
Oh don't go... don't GO!!
Don't go in the basement!

You can feel quite aloof
Playing rummy on the roof

But don't go in the basement!

Where the cockroaches dance
You can wallow in romance

But don't go in the basement!

You may think that it's deluxe
To ride the bannister filled with rust

Oh don't go, don't go!
Don't go in the basement!!!!