Lyrics:

I Woke Up This Morning With A Bad Hangover
and My Penis Was Missing Again
this Happens All The Time
it's Detachable
this Comes In Handy A Lot Of The Time
i Can Leave It Home When I Think It's Going To Get Me In Trouble
or I Can Rent It Out When I Don't Need It

but Now And Then I Go To A Party
get Drunk
and The Next Morning I Can't For The Life Of Me
remember What I Did With It
first I Looked Around My Apartment
and I Couldn't Find It
so I Called Up The Place Where The Party Was
they Hadn't Seen It Either
i Asked Them To Check The Medicine Cabinet
'cause For Some Reason I Leave It There Sometimes
but Not This Time
so I Told Them If It Pops Up To Let Me Know.

i Called A Few People Who Were At The Party
but They Were No Help Either
i Was Starting To Get Desperate
i Really Don't Like Being Without My Penis For Too Long
it Makes Me Feel Like Less Of A Man
and I Really Hate To Have To Sit Down Every Time I Take A Leak

after A Few Hours Of Searching The House
and Calling Everyone I Could Think Of
i Was Starting To Get Very Depressed
so I Went To The Kiev And Ate Breakfast.
then As I Walked Down Second Avenue Toward St. Mark's Place
where All Those People Sell Used Books And Other Junk On The Street
i Saw My Penis Lying On A Blanket Next To A Broken Toaster Oven
some Guy Was Selling It
i Had To Buy It Off Him
he Wanted 22 Bucks But I Talked Him Down To 17
i Took It Home
washed It Off
and Put It Back On
i Was Happy Again
complete
people Sometimes Tell Me I Should Get It Permanently Attached
but I Don't Know
even Though Sometimes It's A Pain In The Ass
i Like Having A Detachable Penis