Lyrics:

Hello, I'm Senator Dianne Feinstein! We are here tonight to discuss the new attorney general Senator John Ashcroft. Senator Kennedy would you like to make a statement?

Uh, well I would just like to say that I, uh... Well, that is, the women of America know that they have a friend in the senior Senator from Massaquitic, and, uh, Chapachusetts, uh... Now, we have noticed a certain pattern...

Uh, excuse me, thank you very much, Senator Kennedy. We will now hear a statement from the new attorney general John Ashcroft!

I see sins
I lend throughout the nation
Life begins
At Senate confirmation

Don't you love the right-wing fringe?
When we eat, our jaws unhinge
Now that I'm Attorney General, I might
Give power to the loonies of the right

We prefer our ice hockey teams
With no left wing
If you jay-walk three times
Strike three, you're out

How we love every dying baby seal
In a cream sauce, it's a tasty little meal
I get vexed when two men are romancing
Don't like sex, 'cause sex can lead to dancing

Now I know you may have read
That I lost to someone dead
And my seat was taken by that dead man's wife
I guess that is the reason I'm pro-life