Lyrics:

spoken:
The 19 years of our existence have coincided with the 19 most scandal plagued years of American history. And perhaps you ask yourselves, 'how could the Capitol Steps have been so fortunate?' Well, ask yourself -- who caused those scandals? Who leaked those scandals? For the answers to those questions, you have to ask yourselves -- who stood to gain the most from them?

We dream of a world that's obscene
We dig through the dirt and the grime
We yearn to uncover a scandal
We know how to profit from slime

We stand for the Capitol Steps
We leak every poisonous prank
We love when it's too hot to handle
We laugh all the way to the bank

This is our quest
In scandals we trust
What's bad for our country
Is good news for us

And we'll fight day and night
With the power we've found
To be willing to march into Hell
To keep Clinton around

Once you see that our promise is kept
You will learn through our song
Your belief that they aren't all inept
Is totally wrong

People please, do your duty to serve
This great occupation of ours
So vote for the funniest people
And turn all the Steps into stars!