Lyrics:

All off to Brighton in a charabanc
Albert played his banjo and how we sang.
The beer was expensive but the laughter was free
Oh how we do love to all be beside the sea.

Albert had a cousin named Marjorie
And I had been noticing that she had noticed me.
I quickly decided if she didn't mind it
I would spend the day in her gay company.

We shared a plate of whelks strolling side by side.
I said she weren't too old to take a donkey ride
But I didn't mind when she laughed and said no
So we paused for a while and listened to the minstrel show.

There was a notice at the Palace Pier
It said there was to be a dance that night and it wasn't dear.
I explained of course that I could only waltz
And so we waltzed to every tune and air.

Nine o'clock come round we had to take the charabanc
And Albert was too drunk to play the banjo but still we sang
All except Marjorie, I could tell at a glance
Because me and Albert was leaving for France.

I said we'll both be home in a week or two
Me and Albert and Lord Kitchener will teach the Hun a thing or two.
I'm sure to return, after me do not yearn
And we will waltz together all our lives through.