Lyrics:

The 'ouse we got was lovely
The neighbours are a treat
They sometimes fight on a Saturday night
But never in the week

What time d'ya call this then?!

Time I got shot of you, ratbag!

Since I pay me bills on time
The milkman insists I call him Joe

Call me Joe!

He brings me bread and eggs
Says I've got legs
Like Marilyn Monroe
Sometimes he takes me dancin'
Even takes me dancin'
I know our Sammy burnt the school down
Well it's very easily done
If the teachers let the silly gets
Play with magnesium
Thank God he only got probation
The judge was old and slow
Thought it was kind of him
Said I reminded him of Marilyn Monroe

And could I take you dancing?
I'd love to take you dancing, young lady!

Our Mickey's just turned fourteen
Well, you know he's at that age
When you mention girls a-courtin'
He flies into a rage

Shut up talkin' about me, mother!

He's got a thing for taking blackheads out
And he thinks that I don't know
That he dreams all night of girls who look like Marilyn Monroe
He's even started dancin'
Secret dancin'
As for the rest they've flown the nest
Got married or moved away
Our Donna Marie's already got three

'Allo, mam

She's a bit like me that way
And that other child of mine
I haven't seen for years although
Each day I pray he'll be OK
Unlike poor Marilyn Monroe