Lyrics:

Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay!
You-you-you-you-you!
(Uno, dos, tres, cuatro!)

My teacher asked me where my homework was and that's when I told her
No hablo inglis
Policeman caught me doing 90 and that's when pulled me over
No hablo inglis
A hippy with a tambourine asking me if i could spare a dollar
No hablo inglis
Some douchebag at the club tries to pick a fight and grabs my collar
No hablo inglis

(One!) When I'm not feeling it
(Two!) When someone's full of shit
(Three!) When I get cut off at the bar
To make a getaway
It's all you gotta say
(Cuatro! Cinco! Seis!)
No hablo inglis
No hablo inglis (Hey, hey, hey)
No hablo inglis
No hablo inglis (Hey, hey, hey)

My nephew asks me if I'd take him to the Jonas Brothers movie
No hablo inglis
Walking my dog I see a sign that says to please pick up the doodie
No hablo inglis
My mom gets mad 'cause I never call my dad on his birthday
No hablo inglis
A guy walks up and says '?Dsnde esta casa de Pepe''
He no habla inglis

(One!) So many different uses
(Two!) You don't need no excuses
(Three!) It's as easy as the third grade
The perfect getaway
It's all you've gotta say
(Cuatro! Cinco! Seis!)
No hablo inglis
No hablo inglis (Hey, hey, hey)
No hablo inglis
No hablo inglis (Hey, hey, hey!)

Did you brush your teeth'
(No hablo inglis)
Where'd you leave your pants'
(No hablo inglis)
Did you feed the fish'
(No hablo inglis)
Do you like my band'
Wait... don't answer that

No hablo inglis (Hey, hey, hey)
No hablo inglis
No hablo inglis (Hey, hey, hey)
No hablo inglis
Do you wanna buy some Girl Scout cookies'
No hablo inglis (Hey, hey, hey)
Did one of you guys pee in the pool'
No hablo inglis
Hey, how 'bout we all get together and go to the ballet'
No hablo inglis (Hey, hey, hey)
Can I borrow that beer'
No hablo inglis
[laughs]
No hablo inglis (Hey, hey, hey)
No hablo inglis
No hablo inglis.