Lyrics:

Young dicks make TV
Get 'em away from me
Young dicks make TV
Loads of hair-style ideals
Here's the other end of the tale
Here's the other end of the scale



Law expert makes studio
He had waited so long
Patrick Moore got a manifesto
He learned the words
Vid king and spontaneous
He learned the words
Analysis and through video



Solicitor in studio
If he got it right
Could be a celebrity
Like M. Pike



Scientists and their bloody childish reading habits
Scientists and their bloody childish reading habits



But solicitor in studio
Soon ran into trouble



From the start, trouble with mike
Noises and high pitched wines
Aggressive interviewer much too fast
Then up came Beaumont Dark
Ripped his argument to shreds



Solicitor in studio
Who ran into trouble



He inadvertently proved the point
That his profession was rot



Shh Shh Shh



Solicitor in studio
Who soon ran into trouble