Lyrics:

Well, I put my shoes on backward on the way out to a dance
Then I had to go back home, 'cause I forgot my pants
I bought my love a ring, and I professed my love, of course
We were not yet married, and she wanted a divorce
Stout, it makes you thick (oh yeah), and it makes you thin and lazy
Irish Whiskey drives me nuts, yeah, whiskey makes me crazy
Stout, it makes you thick (oh yeah), and it makes you thin and lazy
Irish Whiskey drives me nuts, yeah, whiskey makes me crazy
I curled up with my wife after I'd gone to wet my throat
Then I woke up in the stall, all curled up with the goat
My friends do not invite me anymore for anything
'Cause I stumble round their houses all upending everything
Stout, it makes you thick (oh yeah), and it makes you thin and lazy
Irish Whiskey drives me nuts, yeah, whiskey makes me crazy, go

My mother used to beat me, she would beat me black and blue
And now I have a wife, and sure, she's beating on me too
Well, I once had a job, and you could say that I was skilled
But it's off now to Christina's place to go get fucking drilled
Stout, it makes you thick (oh yeah), and it makes you thin and lazy
Irish Whiskey drives me nuts, yeah, whiskey makes me crazy
Stout, it makes you thick (oh yeah), and it makes you thin and lazy
Irish Whiskey drives me nuts, yeah, whiskey makes me crazy