Lyrics:

Crab-Grass Baby

stroke Me Pompadour, Pompaduooor, Pompaduooor, Pompaduooor. Stroke Me Pompadour, Father. Stroke It Nicely While I Tell You About The Problems I Am Having With My Car An My Girlfriend. Ooo-Wo-Woo, The White Man's Burden!

her And Her Girlfriend Used To Go Out And Booze It Up And Tear Up The Upholstery; Rip The Seats Completely Out, And So I Got A Fifty-Six Olds. About The Time I Got It Running Decently, She Got In It And Wrecked The Trans . . . Tore It Completely Up, So I Had To Get Another Oldsmobile (Either That Or Go To Tijuana Or Go To Brown Moses Way Down In Egypt-Land). It's So Hard On A Child When His Car Is Fucked Up. Buy Me A Volvo, Faaather.

harry-As-A-Boy

isn't It Terrific, Artificial Rhonda!

crab-Grass Baby

one-Adam-Twelve . . . See The Enormous White Pompadour! Ha-Ha-Ha-Ho! That's A Good One! Hoo-Hoo-Hoo.

harry-As-A-Boy

he's So Young, And Yet, So Wise!

crab-Grass Baby

i Pooped My Pants, Pooped My Pants, Pooped My Pants! I Went Doody, Faaather, Sob-Sob-Sob-Sob-Sob.

harry-As-A-Boy

his Vocabulary Is Astonishing!

crab-Grass Baby

so What If You Suck A Little Cock Every Once In A While

harry-As-A-Boy

ohhh . . . I'm So Lucky To Have A Son Like This . . .

crab-Grass Baby

barf Me Out . . . Gag Me With A Volvo!

harry-As-A-Boy

i Can't Wait To Show Him To All The Fellas Down At The Mine-Shaft!

crab-Grass Baby

take Me To The Movies. Buy Me A Balloon. Stroke Me Pompadour!

harry-As-A-Boy

look! Look! Look At The Pecker On Him, Wouldja! Goodjy-Goodjy-Goodjy-Goo! Hoo Hoo Hoo!

thing-Fish

dis Boy Have A 'provlem'! However, How 'bout A Nice Round Of Applause Fo De Three 'wise Mammies', Comin' Atcha Outa Chute Numba Five!