Lyrics:

Daughter:
Hello.

Kerpal:
Hello, is Abtar there?

Daughter:
Who?

Kerpal:
Abtar.

Daughter:
Can I ask who's speaking please?

Kerpal:
This is Kerpal.

Daughter:
Who?

Kerpal:
Kerpal.

Daughter:
OK, one moment please.

[Daughter calls Abtar]

Abtar:
Hello.

Kerpal:
Hello.

Abtar:
Hi there.

Kerpal:
Hi, I was just calling because I live down the street from you, and your daughter come to my house today and she kick my dog.

Abtar:
Pardon?

Kerpal:
Your daughter come to my house today,

Abtar:
Uh-huh?

Kerpal:
And she come on my property and then she kick my dog. And now my dog needs operation.

Abtar:
She kicked your?

Kerpal:
She kicked my dog!

Abtar:
She kicked your dog?

Kerpal:
Yes.

Abtar:
Which daughter?

Kerpal:
The one who just answered the phone

[Abtar checks with his daughter]

Abtar:
No.

Kerpal:
What?

Abtar:
No.

Kerpal:
Yes she did. I saw her, and then I go to I saw her at your house. And, why did she do it?

Abtar:
I don't know. She didn't say...

Kerpal:
She did! She's lying. She's lying to you, fucking guy!

Abtar:
Where, where from you speaking?

Kerpal:
I am speaking from my house.

Abtar:
Where you live?

Kerpal:
Down the street from you.

Abtar:
Huh?

Kerpal:
You know where I live. My dog, she kicked it and now I'm going to fuck her!

Abtar:
[mumbles]...oh, you lie I don't know...

Kerpal:
Don't lie, you fucking guy.

Abtar:

Hey, wait...don't talk like that!

Kerpal:
Fuck you! You know damn right what she do!

Abtar:
Yeah but where do you live and who kicked your dog?

Kerpal:
Your daughter kicked my dog.

Abtar:
Which daughter?

Kerpal:
YOU KNOW DAMN RIGHT!!!...[whispers]...you bastard

[Mumbling in background, daughter comes back to phone]

Daughter:
Hello.

Kerpal:
Hello.

Daughter:
Yeah?

Kerpal:
Why you kick my dog?

Daughter:
Hello, can I ask who's speaking please?

Kerpal:
You know damn right! It's Kerpal. It's Kerpal.

Daughter:
Who's Kerpal? We don't know Kerpal.

Kerpal:
Yes, you do. You kick my dog today.

Daughter:
Dog?!

Kerpal:
Dog!

Daughter:
We don't even... No one's ever been at...

Kerpal:
You don't act stupid. You tell your Dad that I am going to sue him. He is going to go to jail.

Daughter:
OK, where the hell do you live?

Kerpal:
I live on your street.

Daughter:
On my street?

Kerpal:
You know!

Daughter:
You say that one of us have kicked your dog?

Kerpal:
Yes.

Daughter:
Whereabouts do you live?

Kerpal:
You know damn right!!

Daughter:
No, we do not know damn right! We don't even know you.

Kerpal:
[under breath] Yes you do.

Daughter:
Why? Where the hell do you live?

Kerpal:
[under breath] You don't ask dumb question.

Daughter:
Do you live on Marative?

Kerpal:
No, you just shut up! You try to confuse! I am going to call the police, and then, you're going to go to jail.

Daughter:
You damn right call the police because we don't know what the hell-

Kerpal:
You do not tell me \'damn right\'. You do not swear at me [under breath] I am going to kill you.

Daughter:
You're going to kill us!?

Kerpal:
No, not, I'm just kidding! You just tell your Dad that I am going to get my lawyer and he is going to rush you!

Daughter:
[says to background] I don't know who the hell he is. [back to Kerpal] Okay, you just go ahead, okay, because we don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

Kerpal:
You don't ever tell me to \'fuck\'! You say bad word!

Daughter:
Well you talk to us this way when you have no proof...

Kerpal:
Fuck you, you, you do not tell me fuck you! OK you? You know!

Daughter:
Please just get lost okay, because we're fed up.

Kerpal:
Fuck you. You are going to jail.

Daughter:
We don't know who the hell you are and you're phoning us with all these obscene-

Kerpal:
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! You shut up you!

Daughter:
Don't tell me to shut up, I did not -

Kerpal:
Shut up! You stink!

Daughter:
Oh, you stink too!

Kerpal:
No, you don't -

Daughter:
Yes you do!

Kerpal:
I do not stink!

Daughter:
I think you do!

Kerpal:
Fuck you, just because I am Paki does not mean I stink!

[she hangs up]