Lyrics:

Kitty:
Look at me, I'm Sandra Dee
Lousy with virginity
Won't go to bed
'Til I'm legally wed
I can't, I'm Sandra Dee

Watch it! Hey, I'm Doris Day
I was not brought up that way
Won't come across
Even Rock Hudson lost

Kitty with New Directions Girls:
His heart to Doris Day

Kitty (New Directions Girls):
I don't drink (No!) or swear (Oh!)
I don't rat my hair (Eww!)
I get ill from one cigarette (Cough, cough, cough)

Keep your filthy paws
Off my silky drawers!
Would you pull that crap with Annette?

As for you, Troy Donahue
I know what you wanna do!
You've got your crust
I'm no object of lust

Kitty with New Directions Girls:
I'm just plain Sandra Dee

Kitty:
Elvis! Elvis! Let me be!
Keep that pelvis far from be!
Just keep your cool
Now you're starting to drool
Hey, fongool, I'm Sandra Dee!