Lyrics:

Online
Brad Paisley
I work down at the pizza pit
And I drive an old Hyundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I'm 5'3' and overweight
I'm a Sci-fi fanatic
Mild asthmatic
Never been to 2nd base
But there's a whole nother me
That you need to see
Go check out MySpace.

Cause online I'm down in Hollywood
I'm 6 foot 5' and I look damn good
I drive a Mazarati
I'm a black belt in Karate
And I love a good glass of wine
It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious
Cause even on a slow day I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time

I'm so much cooler online
So much cooler online.

I get home I kiss my mom
And she fixes me a snack
I head down to my basement bedroom
And fire up my Mac
In real life the only time I
Ever even been to L.A.
Was when I got the chance with the marching band
To play tuba in the Rose Parade.

Online I live in Malibu
I posed for Calvin Klein I've been in GQ
I'm single and I'm rich
And I got a set of six pack abs that'll blow your mind
It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious
Cause even on a slow day I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time.

I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online.

When you got my kinda stats it's hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot
And I lose a bunch of weight every time I log in.

Online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm 6 foot 5' and I look damn good
Even on a slow day I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time.

I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online
I'm so much cooler online
Yeah I'm cooler online.