Lyrics:

Peter:
Jessica Biel and Megan Fox
Wearing nothing but their socks
Is all I really want for Christmas this year.

Brian:
Well, that's just not practical.

Lois:
Spending a week in Mexico
With some black guys and some blow
Is all I really want for Christmas this year.

Peter:
Aw, that sounds terrific. How about you, kids?

Chris:
I would like a pair of skates,
Then I'd go out skating,
But I really don't know how to skate.
Ha-ha!

Meg:
I want a Lexus all in pink
And a dad who doesn't drink.

Peter:
Oh, and that reminds me
Twelve kegs of beer

The Griffins (except Brian):
All these happy wishes
And lots of Christmas cheer
Is all I really want this year.

Brian:
Santa's got his work cut out for him.

Peter:
Oh, we ain't even gotten started yet.

Lois:
I wanna tour the Spanish coast...

Peter:
Lunch with Michael Landon's ghost...

Peter and Lois:
Is all I really want for Christmas this year.

Lois:
Wait, what?

Peter:
Forget it. Keep goin'.

Chris:
Jennifer Garner in my bed...

Meg:
Softer voices in my head...

Chris and Meg:
Is all I really want for Christmas this year.

Stewie:
Yellow cake uranium.
Never mind the reason.
Also Chutes and Ladders and a ball

Brian:
Doesn't this seem like too much stuff?

Peter:
Poo on you! It's not enough!


Stewie:
Buddy boy, I got your Christmas right here.

The Griffins:
All these happy wishes
And lots of Christmas cheer
Is all I really want this year.

Brian:
I'm just saying it seems a bit excessive.

Lois:
Oh, get off your soapbox, Brian
It's Christmas.

Peter:
And Christmas is about getting
Everyone in town knows that.

Quagmire:
Japanese girls with no restraint
Just to choke me till I faint
Is all I really want for Christmas this year.
Ooh, giggity!

Bonnie:
Platinum-plated silverware...

Joe:
Just one day when kids don't stare...

Bonnie and Joe:
Is all I really want for Christmas this year.

Mort:
If you put a Christmas tree
In the public airport,
I will go to court and sue your ass!
Happy holiday!

Mayor Adam West:
Wouldn't I love a Tinkertoy?

Herbert:
And a little drummer boy.
He can either tap his drum or my rear.

Mayor Adam West, Herbert and Mort:
All these happy wishes
And lots of Christmas cheer
Is all I really want this year.

Tom Tucker:
I want a golden mustache comb.

Angela:
And some spermicidal foam.

Tom Tucker and Angela:
That's all I really want for Christmas this year.

Carter:
I want a brand new pitching wedge.

Consuela:
I would like more Lemon Pledge.

Carter and Consuela:
That's all I really want for Christmas this year.

Bruce:
I just want a wedding ring
From someone named Jeffrey.

Jillian:
I just want some colored Easter eggs.

Carl:
I want a Blu-ray of The Wiz.

Tomik:
We don't know what \'Christmas\' is.

Bellgarde:
We have something else called \'Kishgev Fufleer\'.

Everyone (except Brian):
All these happy wishes
And lots of Christmas cheer
Is all I really want this year.