Lyrics:

Patrice
Down the road there's a Dairy Queen
Up the block there's a Walmart
There's a place you can accessorise your pets
A school, a tree, a couple of churches
And no matter how hard anybody searches
That's about as thrilling as this dumbass village gets

It's the lamest place in the world
But it just got a little bit better
So don't disappear
It's the lamest place in the world
But I'm pretty sure it's not as lame as it was before
Now that you're here

Forty miles to the nearest river
Sixty miles to the airport
When we plan our escape that's where we're gonna have to be
It's a shame, it's a sham, it's a terrible pity
You got dragged away from New York City
It's a major suck for you, but it's amazing luck for me

It's the lamest place in the world
But it just got a little bit better
I'm happy to say
It's the lamest place in the world

You're completely exotic
Intellectual, neurotic
And would have a shot except you've found the perfect guy
And though I don't really know you
I can hardly wait to show you
Every fake and freak, every fool and clown
Since the Chippewa settled this stupid town
Let 'em laugh they won't keep me down
With you by my side

And it just got a little bit better
Amazing but true
Yes, the lamest place in the world has lots of flaws
But maybe it'll be fine because it brought me to you