Lyrics:

Bob: Well, what did you bring us?
Oscar: What I bring you? What I bring you? I tell you what I bring you.
The first Polish Christmas dish I bring to the party,
A boiled potato topped with dillweed.
The second Polish Christmas dish I bring to the party,
Two steamed pierogies...
Jimmy: What's a pierogi?
Oscar: It's a dough, wrapped around meat.
Jimmy: Oh...
All: And a boiled potato topped with dillweed.
Oscar: The third Polish Christmas dish I bring to the party,
Three simmered gwumpkies...
Larry: What's a gwumpkey?
Oscar: It's a cabbage wrapped around meat.
Larry: Oh.
Jimmy: Two steamed pierogies.
All: And a boiled potato topped with dillweed.
Oscar: The fourth Polish Christmas dish I bring to the party
Four baked paprikas...
Archibald: Now, what is a paprika?
Oscar: It's a bell pepper stuffed with meat.
Archibald: I see.
Larry: Three Simmered gwumpkies,
Jimmy: Two steamed pierogis,
All: And a boiled potato topped with dillweed.
Oscar: The fifth Polish Christmas dish I bring to the party,
Five smoked kielbasas!
Pa: What's a kielbasa?
Oscar: It's pretty much just meat.
Pa: Oh.
Archibald: Four baked paprikas,
Larry: Three simmered gwumpkies,
Jimmy: Two steamed pierogis,
All: And a boiled potato topped with dillweed.
Oscar: The sixth Polish Cristmas dish I bring to the party,
Six fried hoosecheekies.
Bob: Let me guess, something in the meat family?
Oscar: Actually, it's a delightful pastry with a thin flaky crust.
All: Ohhhhh!
Pa: Five smoked kielbasas!
Archibald: Four baked paprikas,
Larry: Three simmered gwumpkies,
Jimmy: Two steamed pierogis,
All: And a boiled potato topped
with dill weed.
Bob: Wow Oscar, I'm gettin' kinda full, I think that's about.
Oscar: The seventh Polish Christmas dish I bring to the party,
Seven pitted prunes...
Jr: I don't like prunes!
Oscar: With this food, you'll need 'em son.
Archie: Oh, is that right!
Pa: Uh huh!
Bob: Six fried hoosecheekies,
Pa: Five smoked kielbasas!
Archibald: Four baked paprikas,
Larry: Three simmered gwumpkies,
Jimmy: Two steamed pierogis,
All: And a boiled potato topped
with dill weed.
Pa; I'm gunna bust! I couldn't eat another bi...
Oscar: The eighth Polish Christmas dish I bring to the party,
Eight poppy seed cakes,
Larry: Poppies, poppies, poppies...
Archibald: I'm feeling rather sleepy. There's no place like home.
Jr: Seven pitted prunes,
Bob: Six fried hooscheekies,
Pa: Five smoked kielbasas!
Arcibald: Four baked paprikas,
Larry: Three simmered gwumpkis,
Jimmy: Two steamed pierogis,
All: And a boiled potato topped with dillweed!