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Lyrics:
Joe this Is The Season. my Name Is Wednesday, My Partner Is Frank Jones, The Chief Is Captain Kellogg. december The 24th, Christmas Eve, They Brought In A Guy Named Grudge. when I Heard What They Booked Him On, My Blood Ran Cold. it Was A 4096325-Dash-096704 Not Believing In Santa Claus.
435 P.m. I Was Working The Holiday Watch Out Of Homicide With Frank.
frank hang Up Your Stocking Yet, Joe
joe yeah, Just Before I Come Down. You, Too, Frank
frank always Do. Hung It Up Early Just In Case I Have To Work Late Tonight. Wouldn't Wanna Miss Out On When Santy Claus Comes, You Know.
joe mm-Hmm. Sure Wouldn't. Would Be A Shame.
frank whatcha Gonna Do Tomorrow, Joe Whatcha Gonna Do On Christmas Ya Got Any Plans
joe nothing Much.
frank why Don't You Come By The House, Joe We're Gonna Have Christmas Dinner. You Know, All The Trimmings.
joe mm-Hmm.
frank turkey, Celery, Stuffing, Oysters Maybe, Chestnuts.
joe mm-Hmm.
frank all The Trimmings. Cranberry Sauce. Love To Have Ya.
joe mm-Hmm.
frank the Mrs. Always Fixes A Plate Of Relish With Them Little Carrot Sticks. you Know, Olives, Pickles, Scallions. most Folks Call Them Green Onions, But They're Really Scallions. do You Ever Notice That, Joe
joe ever Notice What, Frank
frank how Most Folks Call Them Green Onions, But They're Really Scallions.
joe mm-Hmm. Scallions.
frank anytime After Two, Joe. Love To Have Ya.
joe mm-Hmm. Well, I'll See.
frank love To Have Ya.
joe mm-Hmm. Well, I'll See.
frank the Mrs. Always Fixes A Plate Of Relish With Them Carrot Sticks, you Know Them Little Carrot Sticks
joe mm-Hmm.
frank olives, Pickles, Scallions.
joe mm-Hmm. Let's Not Go Through That Again.
frank love To Have Ya. Go Through What Again, Joe
joe how Most Folks Call Them Green Onions, But They're Really Scallions.
frank oh. You Noticed That, Too, Huh, Joe
(Telephone Rings)
joe homicide, Wednesday. mm-Hmm, Mm-Hmm, Mm-Hmm, Mm-Hmm, Mm-Hmm, Mm-Hmm.
(Hangs Up)
frank 's The Matter, Joe 's The Matter, Joe
joe bringing A Guy In On A 409635-Dash-096704.
frank you-You Mean...
joe yeah. Guy Don't Believe In Scallions. I Mean Santa Claus.
629 P.m. We Questioned The Guy Who Didn't Believe In Santa Claus A Guy Named Grudge.
says Here Your Name's Grudge, That Right
grudge yeah.
joe said You Didn't Believe In Santa Claus
frank it's Hard To Believe What You Said. Did You Really Say That
grudge sure I Said It. How Do You Know There's A Santy Claus ya Got A Picture Of Him
joe no, No Mug Shot.
grudge any Fingerprints
joe mnh-Mnh, No Latent Prints. I Just Know, That's All. i't's Like Saying There Isn't An Easter Bunny.
grudge that's Another Guy There Ain't No Of!
joe mm-Hmm. Well, That's Your Story, Mister.
frank joe, He Just Said That To Make Me Feel Bad, Didn't He there Really Is An Easter Bunny, Isn't There Joe
joe listen, Grudge, Didn't I Pick You Up Three Years Ago On A 1492 For Not Believing In Columbus
grudge yeah! I Don't Believe In Cleveland Or Cincinnati, Either.
joe how About Toledo
grudge i, Uh, I Ain't Made Up My Mind Yet About Toledo.
joe okay, Mister, I Get The Picture Now. you Don't Believe In Nothin', Do Ya
grudge nothin'! And You Wanna Know Somethin' Else
joe what's That
grudge i'm Gonna Get Up, And I'm Gonna Walk Right Out Of This Room, 'cause You Guys Ain't Got Nothin' On Me. there Ain't No Law Against Not Believin' In Santy Claus.
joe there Is In My Book. let Me Tell You Somethin', Mister, I'm Gonna Prove There's A Santa Claus If It Takes Me All Night.
grudge huh! Pretty Funny. The Police Department's Got Nothin' Else To Do.
joe let Me Straighten You Out, Buddy. This One's On Frank And Me. right, Frank Right, Frank
frank there Really Is An Easter Bunny, Isn't There, Joe you Know, Hippety-Hoppin' Down The Bunny Trail
joe i Took Grudge Over To The Helicopter. Got In, Flew Around The City For Hours. i Showed Him Department Stores.
what's Hurrying In And Out Of Those Department Stores, Grudge
grudge happy People, But I Ain't Impressed.
joe i Showed Him Stockings.
how Are Those Stockings Hung, Grudge
grudge by The Chimney With Care. But I Didn't Hang None Up.
joe i Showed Him Children Nestled All Snug In Their Beds.
what's Dancing In Their Heads, Grudge
grudge visions Of Sugarplums. but You Ain't Sellin' Me. There Ain't No Santy Claus.
joe he Still Didn't Believe. There Was Only One Thing Left To Do. my Job Get To The North Pole.
1145 P.m. We Arrived At The North Pole. i Set The Plane Down, We Walked Over To Santy's Workshop, Rang The Bell.
(Bell Plays 'dragnet' Theme)
joe pardon Me, Sir, Can I Ask You A Few Questions
brownie why, Sure. Just Tickle Me To Death.
joe what Do You Do For A Living
brownie i'm A Brownie.
joe what Are You Doing At The North Pole With A Southern Accent
brownie well, The Boss Sorta Ran Short On Help This Year, So He Had To Recruit A Few Of Us Brownies From The South Pole.
joe mm-Hmm. That Figures.
grudge heh-Heh! What A Waste Of Time!
joe could We Talk To Your Boss, Please
brownie oh, He's Out. You Would Come On The One Night He's Out In The Whole Year.
joe mm-Hmm. What's Your Particular Job, Mr. Brownie
brownie my Boss Has Eight Tiny Reindeer. My Job Feed 'em.
joe mm-Hmm, Yes, Sir. What Do Ya Feed 'em
brownie well, Most Times I Fix Up A Little Plate Of Relish. olives, Pickles And Them Carrot Sticks. you Know Them Little Ol' Carrot Sticks
joe mm-Hmm.
brownie and Scallions.
joe And Brownie most Folks Call Them Green Onions, But They're Really Scallions.
brownie how'd You Know
joe just A Stab In The Dark.
the Little Man Showed Us Through The Workshop.
brownie my Boss'll Be Back For A Second Load Pretty Soon. say, Would You All Like To Hear An Interestin' Story
joe yes, Sir.
brownie well, You See That Huge Pile Of Presents Over There
joe mm-Hmm.
grudge man, Look At All That Stuff!
brownie would You Believe It They're All For The Same Man. been Pilin' Up Here Year After Year.
joe why Didn't The Guy Ever Get 'em
grudge yeah! Why
brownie 'cause He Didn't Believe In My Boss. You Know The Rules.
joe mm-Hmm. We Know.
grudge i, Uh, Don't Suppose There's No Chance That This, This Guy Can Still --
brownie get The Presents Oh, Sure. He Gets 'em All The Minute He Believes. but I Don't Suppose He Ever Will.
joe too Bad About That Guy. What's His Name
grudge don't Say It. I Don't Want To Hear It.
joe come On, Mr. Brownie. What's His Name
brownie his Name Grudge.
joe the Brownie Saw Us To The Door, Wished Us A Merry Christmas. we Were Heading Back To The Plane When It Happened.
grudge hey!
joe yeah, Grudge
grudge you Know That Guy I Said I Didn't Believe In
joe who's That
grudge s-S-Santy Claus
joe yes, Sir
grudge you Think I'm Too Old To Change My Mind
joe you're Never Too Old, Mr. Grudge.
grudge well Then, I-I-I Believe In Santy Claus. And Columbus.
joe how About Cleveland, Cincinnati, And The Easter Bunny
grudge yeah, Them, Too.
joe and Toledo
grudge i-I Still Ain't Made Up My Mind Yet About Toledo!
(Sleigh Bells)
joe look, Grudge, Up In The Sky. He's Coming Back For The Second Load.
grudge it's Santy Claus! It's Santy Claus!
joe there's The Only Guy I Know Can Make Everybody Happy In One Night.
grudge yeah. He Must Have The Biggest Heart In The Whole World.
joe that's About The Size Of It.
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