Lyrics:

I Saw A Baby Drive A Truck
i Saw A Junkie Eat A Tuba
i Saw A Stripper Kiss A Duck
behind A Dumpster In Aruba
i Saw This Fat, Psychotic Guy
his Underwear Was Made Of Crickets
he Pawned His Skeleton To Buy
some Old, Expired Lotto Tickets

i Saw A Naked Vagrant
giving Mouth-To-Mouth Resuscitation To His Cat
i Probably Could've Gone My Whole Life Without Seeing That

with My Own Eyes
i've Seen Things That'd Drive A Normal Man Insane
wish I Could Disconnect My Brain
from My Own Eyes

i Saw A Mime Get Hacked To Death
with An Imaginary Cleaver
i Saw An Old Man's Final Breath
i Watched Him Die From Bieber Fever
i Saw These Diabetic Chicks
in An Abandoned 7-11
i Watched 'em Snorting Pixy Stix
while They Were Belching 'stairway To Heaven'
i Saw Two Drag Queens Trying To See How Many Crackers
they Could Shove Up Each Other's Nose
i'd Like To Erase My Mind Completely But I Suppose
that's Just The Way It Goes

with My Own Eyes
i've Seen Things That'd Drive A Normal Man Insane
wish I Could Disconnect My Brain
from My Own Eyes... My Own Eyes
those Visions Haunt My Memory
oh, There's So Much I Wish I Could Un-See
with My Own Eyes

some Priest Got Drunk And Stole A Circus Zebra
and He Trained It To Massage His Back
my Guinea Pig Committed Hara-Kiri
so We Used Him To Play Hacky Sack
my Neighbor's Kids Sold Weapons-Grade Plutonium
and Frosty, Ice-Cold Lemonade
they Took Mastercard And Sometimes Human Organs In Trade
that's How We Paid
i Have To Say That It Was Really Darn Good Lemonade

with My Own Eyes
i've Seen Things That'd Drive A Normal Man Insane
wish I Could Disconnect My Brain
from My Own Eyes... My Own Eyes
those Visions Haunt My Memory
oh, There's So Much I Wish I Could Un-See
with My Own Eyes
with My Own Eyes
with My Own Eyes
with My Own Eyes