Lyrics:

Hark! This is the night
Where Big Red Arthur tries to make it right
And, I, I was a child
I couldn't read, but I could see

And this is where, Big Red Arthur
Slides down the chimney
And lands on spikes
He lands on spikes
He lands on spikes
He will never, ever, see Christmas

And every single one of those business men
Who dine on their foie gras tonight
Drop drawers and count to ten
With a finger in your mouth: you bite!

Sometimes you watch the news
And you've seen terrible things
Sometimes you've got to choose
Which crook the hangman swings

And I know Big Red Arthur is laughing
As he bids adieu, to this hideous world

Boxing Day, Mum and Dad
Explain police tapes, it's all so sad
Lies, more of the same
And the gifts that we were promised never came

So, I, I walked into town
Threw rocks at windows and passed the time
I passed the time
I passed the time
And I shall always never forget this

When suddenly a chill upon my neck takes form
As a bird made out of fire and snakes
And he gives me the strangest peck he says
Let's go out for tea and cakes

Sometimes you roll the dice
Sometimes the dice roll you
Christmas can be so nice
But it can be awful too

And somewhere out there
There's another Big Red Arthur
Greasing up his body to go down the flue