Lyrics:

[Becky] (spoken)
Jenna, time to pee on a stick!

[Jenna] (spoken)
Wha- (sigh) I don't wanna know

[Becky]
C'mon honey, you've waited long enough

[Becky & Dawn]
Get to it and do it

[Jenna] (spoken)
Okay girls, enough!

[Becky & Dawn]
You know what we mean

[Dawn]
I hope you drank enough this mornin'

[Becky]
C'mon sweetie, it's better to know
We'll be right here with you so

[Dawn]
It's no or it's yes
But either way you gotta take the test

[Becky]
A squat and a squeeze,
A prayer and a please,
It's nothin'

[Dawn]
A stick an' a line

[Jenna]
Just one of 'em- if I'm lucky

[Becky & Dawn]
A pot and a piss
Here we go sis
an' we'll keep our focus on

[All]
The negative!

[Becky] (spoken)
Read the instructions.

[Dawn] (spoken)
Se puede saber la duración de la-

[Becky] (spoken)
English!

[Dawn] (spoken)
Do not insert the test stick into your vagina.

[Becky] (spoken)
Woow. Thank you, Dawn.

[Jenna]
How'd I ever get myself in this mess?
One drunk night an' that stupid red dress

[Dawn] (spoken)
Aw, I love that red dress! The way it sparkles, it looks like an ice-skating outfit!

[Becky] (spoken)
Oh, stay with us, Dawn!

[Dawn]
Maybe his machinery is broken somehow?
What if his boys don't swim, I mean, wow!
(spoken) Miraculous luck!

[Becky] (spoken)
Yeah, miraculous!
(sung) to get away with it unprotected fu-!

[Jenna]
Funny how one night
can ruin your whole life

[Becky & Dawn]
Don't go there yet
We don't know what the test says

[Jenna]
I'm already panicked!

[Becky] (spoken)
Just calm down, god damn it!

[Dawn]
Maybe it'll all be fine

[Becky & Dawn]
Maybe there'll be just one line

[All]
Come on, Negative!

[Dawn] (spoken)
I thought you don't sleep with your husband much anymore?

[Jenna] (spoken)
Well, I - (sigh) he got me drunk.
I do stupid things when I drink, like-- sleep with my husband.

[Becky] (spoken)
Honey, we've all made that mistake.

[All]
Focus on the negative!

[Becky]
This will all be alright

[Dawn]
It was only one night

[Jenna]
Someone
Send me a sign

[Becky & Dawn]
One line

[All]
One line

(ding)

[Becky & Dawn]
That means the test is ready-
this is it...

[Jenna] (spoken)
...shit.