Lyrics:

Ah, before you say another word
May I present to you Alf

The show is on
Your eye-lids are growing heavy
You are getting sleepy
You are no longer a cat
You are a bagel

What are you doing?

Hey, you scared me, you ought to wear a bell

What's going on here?

What happened here?

I was, I was just teaching Lucky how to tell time
Show Willie what you've learned

You are hypnotizing him, aren't you?

Okay, you caught us, I'm trying to help Lucky to beat the smoking problem
Just kidding, ha, ha, ha

Go for it

Well, my name is Alf and I'm stuck on earth
I can't get back to my place of birth
I'm making the best of a bad situation
Think of it as an extended vacation

Hello

Hello, is that you, Mister President?
Listen, I know you're a busy guy, so I'll make this brief
We've only got one planet, so why don't you and the Rusky
Ease up a little, will you?

Goodnesses, that's pretty complicated

Hope I haven't oversimplified the problem

I'm, I'm sure we'll do everything we can
Eh, Mr. Alf, we're sending someone around right now
To follow up this thing, you just sit tight, okay?

You too

Well, my name is Alf and I'm stuck on earth
I can't get back to my place of birth
I'm making the best of a bad situation
Think of it as an extended vacation

Well, my name is Alf and I'm stuck on earth
I can't get back to my place of birth
I'm making the best of a bad situation
Think of it as an extended vacation

Alf, what are you doing in my dress?

Blame the guy in the dress

No, don't make a sound, stay right here and take off the dress

Alright, but I feel it only fair to warn you
I'm not wearing anything underneath

Well, my name is Alf and I'm stuck on earth
I can't get back to my place of birth
I'm making the best of a bad situation
Think of it as an extended vacation

Well, my name is Alf and I'm stuck on earth
I can't get back to my place of birth
I'm making the best of a bad situation
Think of it as an extended vacation

That is good

Yeah
Yeah, yeah
No way
No, no, no way
Go for it
Go, go for it
Yo, Willy

Well, don't we feel foolish?