Lyrics:

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Dipso Calypso
Alright boys, 1 - 2 - 7 - 9

Now there's a town where the folks are dumb
But they're always happy and never glumb
They just drink rum till they feel quite numb
And do the dipso-calypso. 

The dipso-calypso, 
You shake your head and your hips so
With a bottle of rum inside your little tum
Doing the dip so, calypso... ooh

Oh right in the mood now, Jackson 
\'good luck you, everybody\'

Now, the native girl on the Virgin Islands
They sit around wearing nothing but smiles
There are two men they won't let in:
Charlie Chaplin and Errol Flyn
mmh
Now I called on a lady, her name was Ms Brown
mm, she was having a bath and she could not come down
I said slip on something; you won't weigh a tick
So she slipped on de soap, and came down pretty quick. 

That was a bit of an old one, 
Never mind, I'm getting paid. 
Here we go...

There was a lady named Viccar's 
Who went with her boy to the flickers
He saw a bit of wool and started to pull
And that's how de girl lost her knitting.

\'Pardon me. Which side of the record am I on?\'
If they're playing this side, it's the top. 
If they're playing the other side, it's the bottom. 
\'Just as I thought; ask silly questions, you get silly answers.
How I'm gonna get back to that little hole in the middle I'll never know.\'

Last verse coming up. Good luck everybody. 

I bought a radio set last week
You could not buy one finer.
Last night I laid in bed and I heard 
My wife getting on to China. 
oh
The dipso-calypso, whoo 
You shake-ah your head and your hip so 
With a bottle of rum inside your little tum
You too can do the dipso calypso... ooh
Hop ah, hoppah 
I'm single now.

How was that?