Lyrics:

Eat
He can't
Eat
He surely can't
Eat
He might explode
EAT!

I can see that a slice
Or even two, Bruce
Might have been nice
But even you, Bruce
Have to admit
Between you and it
There's not a lot of difference in size

He can't
He can, Bruce
He surely can't
He surely can't
You are the man, Bruce
He might explode
He's quite elastic
He's going to blow, make him stop
He's fantastic, look at him go
I can't watch

I think in effect
This must confirm, Bruce
What we all suspected
You have a worm, Bruce
Or maybe your largeness is a bit like a TARDIS
Considerably roomier inside

He can't
He can, Bruce
He surely can't
He surely can't
You are the man, Bruce

B-R-O-O-C-E

Bruce
The time has come
To put that tumbly tum to use
You've produced, Bruce
Fantastically enthusiastic gastric juice

Oh eat it up, lick it up, suck it up
Whatever you do don't chuck it up
And muck it up
Come on, Bruce, be a hero
Cover yourself in chocolate glory

Bruce
You'll never again be subject to abuse
For your immense caboose
She'll call a truce, Bruce
With every swallow you are tightening the noose
We never thought it was possible
But here it is coming true
We can have our cake and eat it too (se)
The time has come
To put that tumbly tum to use
No excuse, Bruce
Let out your belt
I think you'll want your trousers loose


Oh stuff it in (Bruce)
You're almost finished (Bruce)
You'll fit it in
Whatever you do just don't give in (Bruce)
Don't let her win (Bruce)

Come on, Bruce, be a hero
Cover yourself in chocolate glory

(Come on Bruce, do it!)

Oh, Bruce!
You'll never again be subject to abuse
For your immense caboose
She'll call a truce, Bruce
Just one more bite and you'll've
Completely cooked her goose
We never thought it was possible
But here it is coming true
We can have our cake and eat it

Ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah!

Go on, Brucie!