Lyrics:

Had a crush on santa Since I was 9 years old But oh santa Why do You go? Once a year you come visit me Eat my cookies, leave presents the same old routine But now santa I want something more No presents all that this girl's askin for Santa sleep with me tonight! I read these words in her diary An invasion of my girlfriend's privacy I shouldn't have, but I'm glad I did Wonder what does she see in him A big old tub of jelly with a double chin He's older than my grandmother Indeed this fetish is really bizarre Sexual attraction for this holiday star I gotta plan that you wouldn't believe But I've gotta act like it's christmas eve Santa's suit is what I will get And give my girlfriend a night that she'll never forget And neither will I Went through my closet and found a red robe Made a beard out of cotton, stuffed my shirt with pillows And drove to my girl's house I slipped down the chimney and to my dismay Saw santa and my girl in red lingere And in between all the moans and groans I heard her say Oh santa, Oh santa She said santa I miss you I love you I wish you would stay home forever with me Santa I knew you were coming to town But tonight you are coming in me Santa, get off of my girlfriend get off of my girlfriend