Lyrics:

Speaking
bret To Be Honest With You, Being In Um, Being In An Obviously Popular Folk Band, Um, You Know, We Get Our Perks, Um...
jemaine Tell Them How, Um, Lots Of Women Always Want To Kiss Us.
b Yeah. Sometimes- Well, Not Sometimes, Often- After The Show, Women, And Girls, They Want To Kiss Us.
j Yeah. Well, That's True, I Suppose, I Never Really Thought About That, But Yeah, Now That You Come To Mention It...
b But, Um... Nah, It's A Lot Of Fun.
j It's Quite Nice.
b Yeah.
j I Mean, It's Only Polite To Go Along With It.
b If Someone Kisses You, You Just Don't Say 'no,' You Know, Do You
j Well, Not If They Paid Twenty Bucks.
b Pause To See The Show, To See The Show.
j Or Fifteen Bucks, Concession
b Yeah.
j Get A Little Kiss.
b Yeah. Sort Of A Student Kiss.
j Laughs Student Kiss
b Pensioner Kiss, That Sort Of Stuff. Just A Little Peck, It's A Bit Dry, Sort Of Comes Away With You. But, Uh...
j A Group Concession Kiss.
b True, Yeah. Ten, If There's Ten, You Know, It's Obviously... Works Out For Everyone. There Are Two Types Of Guys, You've Probably All Heard That, Um...
j Yeah, I've Heard That.
b And, Um...
j Yeah, I'm One Of Them, And Bret's The Other--
b I'm The Other Sort. Yeah, Pretty Much Got It Covered. But When It Becomes, Uh, Not Well, I Guess A Problem, Sort Of, You Have A Kiss, And Then Sometimes They Want To Take It A Little Bit Further, Music Starts And That's When It Becomes Inappropriate For Someone That You've Only Just Met.

song
a Kiss Is Not A Contract,
but It's Very Nice,
oh Yes, It's Very Nice.

just Because You've Been Exploring My Mouth
doesn't Mean You Get To Take An Expedition Further South

no, A Kiss Is Not A Contract,
but It's Very Nice,
it's Very, Very Nice.

just Because We've Been Playing Tonsil-Hockey
doesn't Mean You Get To Score The Goal That's In My Jockeys

oh, Just Because I'm In An Acoustic Folk Band
it Doesn't Mean I Only Want Poontang
i Can't Go Around Loving Everyone
i Just Wouldn't Get Anything Done...

because, I'm Only One Man, Baby.
we're Only Two Men, Ladies,
babies, Pretty Babies.