Back-to-back Cadfael Ross Kemp on Watership Down Are we living in the last days? My life coach died in a car crash Plummeted his mother into hopeless despair She hangs about the laurel walk I never know what to say to her Have you seen Tommy Walsh’s Eco House? I’m at the mercy of the local scold She knows, I know she knows about the bothy on the Knoydart I should have listened to Pop Tart Mark And had the head dissolved in acid by a Belgian clean up team I’ve taken 90 Bisodol I’ve had a bellyful of Tommy Walsh’s Eco House A-tisket, a-tasket, a Pashley with a basket Behold Hermione, Little Miss Poundbury I used to hanker after her when days were merrier Before the ground floor flat West Highland Terrier Kathleen Ferrier tickets in the post All them Lib Dems done gone to Cropredy Tories to Cornbury As for me, I’ll take the TGV to Zurich and jump off the roof of Dignitas And leave a note saying: “Here lies the bloke, the only bloke in Harpurhey Who wasn’t at the Lesser Free Trade Hall” Y’all, think on While you’re capturing the zeitgeist They’re widening the motorway