Lyrics:

Hey Joyce
Rock and Roll never gave you a voice
It's never given you so much as a lament
So I went to the store
And I bought a guitar
To bestow this accolade on you
Just you
Not Sally, Carrie Anne or Peggy Sue
I'm going to spend my next half day with a girl called Joyce
Going to possibly stop at Tebay with a girl called Joyce

Hey Joyce
I know you're not as far out as Ronnie Boyce
And I am aware that you've got a few quirks
But it hurts when I hear
All the songs to Maria
When we haven't really done with J
Or K
Much to my dismay
When the bad gets worse I turn to a girl called Joyce
Gonna lose myself in the thrall of a girl called Joyce

Slower ball...
Paris Fashion week caught me off guard
I was busy with trellising the yard

In a spring-less cart
On a sun-less day
As the laudanum shortage dawns
Two fauns
Lead me through the glade
Where the gods have dumped Diana for a girl called Joyce
And displayed on high is a banner in support of Joyce
And the brook runs crystal clear
And the brook runs crystal clear
And the brook runs crystal clear
And the wind cries Joyce