Lyrics:

In pulpits
In pulpits
They can preach naked from the waist downwards
In cloisters
They can smack each others' arses

These be ecclesiastical perks
These be ecclesiastical perks

Cheap flagstones
Cheap flagstones
Clergyman, he's got a drive to lay
Clergyman, he's got a drive to lay
Wet sponges (at the summer fair) shall miss me

These be ecclesiastical perks
These be ecclesiastical perks

Rumour had it there was none left, so I swiftly walked round to Archie's house. Archie, people are saying you haven't got any. What am I supposed to do? You know the situation.

Reverend, come, sit down. For you there is always some. How much do you need

I'm gonna bottle up my love
And shake it up and down
And spray it all over Jesus

Near Fakenham
Joke breasts on
No seatbelt
Nice policeman
Fierce Panda
All-nighter
Fee no pay
Hey hey hey hey hey

These be (uuuuuuuuh)
These be (uuuuuuuuh)
These be