Lyrics:

When I was young I used to be as fine a man as ever you'd see
the Prince of Wales he said to me 'come join the British army'
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ra-loo they're looking for monkeys up in the zoo
If I had a face like you I'd join the British army

When I was young I had a twist of punching babies with me fist
And I thought I would enlist and join the british army
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ra-loo they're looking for monkeys up in the zoo
If I had a face like you I'd join the British army

Sarah Camdon baked a cake it was all for poor old Slattery's sake
I threw meself into the lake pretending I was balmy
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ra-loo they're looking for monkeys up in the zoo
If I had a face like you I'd join the British army

Corporal Duff's got such a drought just give him a couple of jars of stout
He'll kill the enemy with his mouth and save the British Army
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ra-loo me curse is on the Labour crew
They took your darling boy from you to join the British army

Captain Heeley went away and his wife got in the family way
And all the words that she would say was 'Blame the British Army'
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ra-loo I've made me mind up what to do
I'll work my ticket home to you and leave the British army

When I was young I used to be as fine a man as ever you'd see
The Prince of Wales he said to me 'Come and join the British army.'
Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ra-loo I've made me mind up what to do
I'll work my ticket home to you and hug the British army