Lyrics:

Caution, can be harmful to your heart and to your health
You can never be quite sure, so find out for yourself.
Just a silly millimeter more - to Forest Lawn.
And it doesn't taste just like it should, but your cough will soon be gone.

When your bass player's flat and your drummer drags,
Don't you wish you had a fag.

Take the country out of town, but don't tattoo your throat.
Coffin nails have pounded you - might just have missed the boat.
Save the coupons, walk a mile, your lungs are getting tan.
But nothing else that you can use is legal on the stand.

But when your bass player's flat and your drummer drags,
Bet you wish you had a fag.