Lyrics:

I Read The News Today, Oh Boy,
about A Lucky Man Who Made The Grade
and Though The News Was Rather Sad,
well, I Just Had To Laugh.
i Saw The Photograph.

he Blew His Mind Out In A Car.
he Didn't Notice That The Lights Had Changed.
a Crowd Of People Stood And Stared.
they'd Seen His Face Before.
nobody Was Really Sure If He Was From The House Of Lordes.

i Saw A Film Today, Oh Boy.
the English Army Had Just Won The War.
a Crowd Of People Turned Away,
but I Just Had To Look,
having Read The Book.
i'd Love To Turn You On.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10,
11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20.

woke Up,
fell Out Of Bed.
dragged A Come Across My Head.
found My Way Downstairs
and Drank A Cup
and Looking Up,
i Noticed I Was Late.
found My Coat,
grabbed My Hat.
made The Bus In Seconds Flat.
made My Way Upstairs
and Had A Smoke.
everybody Smoked And I Went Into A Dream.
oh, Shit.

i Read The News Today, Oh Boy,
four Thousand Holes In Blackburn, Lancashire,
and Though The Holes Were Rather Small,
they Had To Count Them All.
now They Know How Many Holes It Takes
to Fill The Albert Hall.
i'd Love To Turn You On.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10,
11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20