Lyrics:

I walked down past the courthouse square three blocks or maybe four
Run into my old friend there who runs a handy hardware store
I said mornin' Lon what's the good word
He said Abraham Lincoln Lone Ranger Mickey Mouse and I'm sold out of flagpoles
I popped the top off a soda pop laid a quarter on the bar
I said inflation is a dirty dog my payday sure ain't goin' far
Liberty said Lonnie E Pluribus Uni in God we trust and I'm sold out of flagpoles
I said hey Lonnie did you see Evel Knievel jumpin' on TV
Jumped 13 buses with his machine reckon he could jump 14
No doubt said Lonnie winners keep on winnin'
Even losers win sometimes and I'm sold out of flagpoles

Ain't this been a year I said for frost and blight and flood and drought
Twice as many tornados reckon it's all caused by fallout
No it's the season said Lonnie they change
Wind's gonna blow always did and I'm sold out of flagpoles
Hey what d'you think about the sheriff's daughter
Runnin' off with the preacher's son
The sheriff's wife had to hold him back from goin' after them with his gun
Boys and girls said Lonnie will get together
Everything's normal and I'm sold out of flagpoles
And I'm sold out of flagpoles sold out of flagpoles sold out of flagpoles