Lyrics:

Velma:
Can you imagine?
I mean can you imagine?
Do you believe it?
I mean, do you believe it?

I know a girl
A girl who lands on top
You could put her face
Into a pail of slop
And she'd come up smelling like a rose
How she does it, heaven knows

Reporter:
Hold on, everybody, she's comin' out now
(Roxie enters, followed by a very happy Doctor)
Well, Doctor, is she or isn't she?

Velma:
She is

Doctor:
She is

Velma:
I know a girl
A girl with so much luck
She could get run over by a two-ton truck
Then brush herself off and walk away
How she does it, I couldn't say

Billy:
So, Doc, would you swear to that statement in court?

Doctor:
Oh, yeah

Billy:
Good... you wanna button your fly?

Velma:
Whilst I on the other hand
Put my face in a pail of slop
And I would smell like a pail of slop
I, on the other hand
Get run over by a truck
And I am deader than a duck

I know a girl who tells so many lies
Anything that's true would truly cross her eyes
But what that mouse is selling
That whole world buys
And nobody smells a rat

Roxie:
Oh, please Ladies and Gentlemen of the press - leave the two
Of us alone so that we can rest

Velma:
The two of us?
Can you imagine?
I mean, can you imagine?

Reporter:
Can I have one last picture, please?

Roxie:
Oh, sure, anything for the press

Velma:
Do you believe it?
I mean, do you believe it?

Roxie:
My dear little baby

Velma:
'My dear little baby'

Roxie:
My sweet little baby

Velma:
'My sweet little...'

Roxie:
Look at my baby and me