Lyrics:

In the earliest days of my shoplifting career, You could safely say I was filled with fear. It was nail biting work from the very start, But several quick sucesses soon gave me heart. After a while I could pick or nick or steal, Some shirts some trousers and a few LPs. No-one ever stopped me, they didn't seem to care. It sometimes seemed to me that there was no-one there. Then a fine summers day my mates and me, Set off down the westend on our usual spree. Things were as normal for an hour or so, Then my nimble hands were a bit too slow. Two store detectives made a fast approach, One grabbed my jacket (you're nicked!) The other grabbed my throat. So they caught me at last, one said with joy: