Lyrics:

(Shel Silverstein) They say to have her hair done Liz flies all the way to France And Jackie's seen in a discotheque doin' a brand new dance And the White House social season should be glittering and gay But here in Topeka the rain is a fallin' The faucet is a drippin' and the kids are a bawlin' One of them a toddlin' and one is a crawlin' and one's on the way I'm glad that Raquel Welch just signed a million dollar pact And Debbie's out in Vegas workin' up a brand new act While the TV's showin' Newlyweds a real fun game to play But here in Topeka the screen door's a bangin' The coffee's boilin' over and the wash needs a hangin' One wants a cookie and one wants a changin' and one's on the way Now what was I doin' Jimmy get away from there darn there goes the phone Hello honey what's that you say you're bringin' a few ole buddies home You're callin' from a barn get away from there No not you honey I was talkin' to the baby wait a minute honey the door bell Honey could you stop at the market and hello hello well I'll be The girls in New York City they all march for women's lib And Better Homes and Gardens shows the modern way to live And the pill may change the world tomorrow but meanwhile today Here in Topeka the flies are a buzzin' The dog is a barkin' and the floor needs a scrubbin' One needs a spankin' and one needs a huggin' Lord one's on the way Oh gee I hope it ain't twins again