Lyrics:

Tom:
Hey Mom, there's something in the back room
Hope it's not the creatures from above
You used to read me stories, as if my dreams were boring
We all know conspiracies are dumb

What if people knew that these were real?
I leave my closet door open all night
I know the CIA would say
What you hear is all hearsay
Wish someone would tell me what was right

Up all night long and there's something very wrong
And I know it must be late, been gone since yesterday
I'm not like you guys, I'm not like you

I'm still a skeptic, yes you know me
Been best friends and will be until we die
I got an injection, of love from the erection
My best friend thinks I'm just humping guys, alright

Up all night long and there's something very wrong
And I know it must be late, been gone since yesterday
I'm not like you guys, I'm not like you

Dark and scary, ordinary, explanation, information
Nice to know ya', paranoia
Where's my mother? Bio father

Up all night long and there's something very wrong
And I know it must be late, been gone since yesterday
I'm not like you guys, twelve majestic lies (Mark: Tom has sex with guys)


Tom: Hey, Mark. Who here thinks I look very similar to Tom Cruise? Thank you, I think so too.
Mark: Yeah, like, like Tom Cruise in that movie 'Born on the Fourth of July'? That one where he's handicapped and retarded and stupid and nobody likes him and he just shits all over himself because he's a fucking asshole. Hey!
Tom: That was mean.
Mark: That's right.
Tom: Never attack somebody that shits on himself. You guys think it's weird to shit your pants when you're sleeping? Not that I do it, but I did it last night and I haven't taken a shower since and I'm wondering if that's what smells. Ha, ha. Ooh, poopie, poo-poo, cocka.

Mark: Hey, I wrote this next song, want to hear it?
Tom: Cause you don't have a choice.
Mark: It goes like this.