Lyrics:

Lyric

Ped Gill: Get it together! See, I can't get it together now, so I suggest you do the same. Cheers.
Steve Lipson: hey, start once more.
Ped Gill: ALRIGHT STEVE! I would like to give all you punters a lovely christmas message, but I am too bladdered to get it together, so I 'just, I SUGGEST, see I told you I couldn't get it together, I suggest you do the same. Cheers, happy Christmas.
Control room: Noel?. That was shite (laughs)
Ped Gill: Well go and pull you're ####ing Bud then plank. I'm saying #### all.
Paul Rutherford: It look's like he's on a quiz show (laughs). That's the man, yeah, in the box. Your starter for 10 Ped. Your starter for 10 Ped.
Ped Gill: (sighs) Shall I go on or what?
Steve Lipson: Yeah.
Ped Gill: Yeah?
Steve Lipson: Yeah
Ped Gill: Eh. (laughs) Here my Christmas message to all you Christmasey people. Hope you get lots of toys and eat lots of Christmas pud and Christmas turkey.
Control room: Oh that was shit.
Ped Gill: I know. What do you want me to say? HOPE YOU CHOKE ON THE TANNER IN THE PUDDIN'

Holly Johnson: Ok, I'll sing a bit then say something 'ey.
Control room: Yeah Johnson, sing it like, yeah.
Holly Johnson: Yeah. This is the spirit of Christmas to come.

Ped Gill: Are we going 'ere Bob? Are we going?
Bob Kraushaar: That's great, just don't shout.
Ped Gill: Okay. And so this is Christmas and I hope you have fun, but I know you won't 'cos you'll all be too full of Christmas spirit that you'll be puking everywhere, and the only way you'll have fun is to listen to the other side of this record and get even more sicker.
Holly Johnson: Oooh the power of love. oooh
Mark O’Toole: Go 'ed Nasher lad.
Brian Nash: The power of my right hand.
Holly Johnson: Oooh have we got the power oooh at Christmas.
Brian Nash: Can you feel the force.
Mark O’Toole: Why's everyone looking at us through that window?
Holly Johnson: Because we're ace. (laughs) Didn't you know, we're Frankie Goes To Hollywood.
Mark O’Toole: Oh I know we're ace like, but...

Brian Nash: That was mine, that's all you getting.
Mark O’Toole: Dead festive that weren't it.
Holly Johnson: Dead festive. Oh, go on, you think of something festive to then.
Mark O’Toole: I can't think of anything. I mean, what would you say if yo had to stand in front of here and think of a Chrismas message? You wouldn't be able to think of anything would you.
Brian Nash: I hope you all have, I hope you have all have a wonderful Christmas, will that do or do you want more bullshit?
Holly Johnson: I got a T-Rex fan club letter, fan club record at Christmas once and he sang Christmas songs.
Mark O’Toole: Did you?
Holly Johnson: Christ...
Mark O’Toole: (laughs) Christ...
Holly Johnson: 'Christmas, wella wella wella wella Christmas'. You know like that.
Mark O’Toole: Like that?
Holly Johnson: What could we sing though, nicely?
Mark O’Toole: Yeah. (laughs) Can we sing anything nicely?
Holly Johnson: If you're naughty you get ashes in your stocking.
Mark O’Toole: (laughs)
Holly Johnson: Ped, gonna speak a poem now.
Mark O’Toole: Ped, come 'ed. Ped's gonna recite one of his poems. Wait for Ped, Nash. Come in here so we can give Gilly stick. Er jack the lad is just arriving on the er christmas scene here.
Ped Gill: Have you seen this, have you been ####ing about? Does anyone wanna wanna recite this poem?
Mark O’Toole: Let's see.
Brian Nash: Go 'ed
Mark O’Toole: This is a poem written, arranged and produced by P. Gill, narrated by P. Gill. Go 'ed Gilly.

Others: Ahhhh ahhhhh ah.
Ped Gill: Christmas is here once again... Shit! I'll try it again.
Others: (laughs)
Ped Gill: Christmas is here once again so let's all have some fun, don't forget ten pants... ah shit!
Others: (laughs) Ahhhh ahhhhh ah.
Ped Gill: and again. Christmas is here once again so let's all have some fun, don't forget ten pints tonite and don't forget to come, to the lad's party of course.
Others: of course (laughs)
Ped Gill: of course
Others: Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ahh ah ahhh ah
Holly Johnson: Thank you Peter for your Christmas cheer.
Ped Gill: I'll think I'll go and eat some turkey and pudding as it's Christmas.
Brian Nash: Come and do it again (laughs)
Holly Johnson: One, two, three, four
All: Christmas is here once again so let's all have some fun, don't forget ten pints tonite and don't forget to come to the lad's party of course
Ped Gill: Let's go pull some crackers lads, it's Christmas.
Mark O’Toole: Yeah come 'ed lads
Brian Nash: #### the crackers, I'm pulling me Bud.

Paul Rutherford: erm, someone come in and give me some inspiration
Mark O’Toole: Bob what are those robots called? Omnibot.
Paul Rutherford: Omnibot. (laughs)
Mark O’Toole: I want an omnibot for Christmas if anybody's listening. (laughs)
Paul Rutherford: I wanna Porshe for Christmas if anyone, no I don't, I wanna a convertible XJS if anyone's listening, if, if you're real fan Frankie fans you'll buy us all XJS's for Christmas
Mark O’Toole: no you'll buy me a real '65 Corvette Stingray
Ped Gill: If you're a real Frankie fan buy me Action Man and a tricycle and a Chopper and a Racer and a radio and a cassette, 'cos I'm greedy.
Mark O’Toole: '65 Corvette Stingray I want or an Omnibot
Paul Rutherford: Merry Christmas Frankie fans, and we all want an XJS's for Christmas okay.
Ped Gill: ..and an Action Man
Paul Rutherford: (laughs) and Ped want an Action Man
Ped Gill: and a dolls house and a paddling pool
Mark O’Toole: You girl! You poof!
Paul Rutherford: Bah Humbug!
Ped Gill: and a paddling pool, and a remote control car